8:54 pm - February 26, 2025
It’s hard to believe it’s been over a decade since Tinder first launched, revolutionizing the way we approach romance and introducing the now-ubiquitous concept of swiping left or right. Since its debut in 2012, Tinder—and the broader world of online dating—has become an integral part of modern life. Yet, recent data suggests that the excitement and novelty of these platforms may be fading. According to Ofcom’s Online Nation Report, nearly five million adults in the UK visited online dating services in the past year, but usage of the top 10 dating apps dropped by 16% between 2023 and 2024. This decline has left analysts and users alike wondering: is the era of app-based dating losing its appeal?
The rise of “dating fatigue” is a significant factor in this shift. A 2024 study by Forbes Health found that 78% of dating app users report feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted by the process. Similarly, a 2023 YouGov survey revealed that 46% of Brits have had negative experiences with dating apps. These findings highlight a growing sense of disillusionment with online dating, as users grapple with the superficiality of swiping, the pressure to present a perfect online persona, and the often-disappointing reality of in-person connections. Even Tinder, once the pioneer of the dating app world and still the largest app in Match Group’s portfolio, lost over half a million users in the past year. The question on everyone’s mind is: what’s gone wrong with modern love?
Among the newer dating apps trying to address these issues is Cherry, which aims to foster more meaningful connections by categorizing users into three “vibes”: casual, go-with-the-flow, and meaningful. The app also offers coaches to help users work on themselves before pursuing relationships, reflecting CEO Jo Mason’s belief that self-growth is essential for successful partnerships. Cherry’s slogan, “kiss fewer frogs,” emphasizes its mission to reduce the exhaustion of sifting through superficial matches. According to a study by the app, 58% of daters feel drained by the endless swiping and shallow interactions, while 40% report a decline in their motivation to meet someone. Mason explains that modern dating options are limited, leaving many to rely on apps despite their frustrations.
Another app, Thursday, takes a different approach by operating only one day a week—Thursday, naturally—to encourage users to make quick decisions and meet in person. Co-founder George Rawlings explains that the app aims to normalize face-to-face interactions and move away from the endless messaging that often leads nowhere. At a Thursday-organized singles event in London, attendees expressed mixed feelings about the state of modern dating. One man confessed that his resolution for the year was to meet someone organically, while another likened dating apps to a tedious administrative task. The sentiment was echoed by a family member who compared swiping through apps to responding to emails. For many, the fun and excitement of dating have been replaced by a sense of obligation and routine.
The challenges of modern dating are further complicated by societal expectations and the blurring of boundaries between online and offline interactions. At the same London event, a man approached me and jokingly expressed relief that his wife wouldn’t find out he was there—a stark reminder of the stigma still surrounding certain aspects of dating. When a group of friends and I decided to explore the real-life dating scene in London, we were met with disappointment. Despite our efforts to engage with others, we weren’t approached once, and the people around us seemed more focused on their phones than on connecting with those in front of them. It feels as though we’re physically present but mentally elsewhere, a phenomenon that relationship expert Charlene Douglas attributes to a broader shift in dating norms. She argues that women are now more empowered to take initiative, but this has left some men uncertain about their roles. “We’re good at talking, us women, right?” she says, emphasizing that waiting for a man to make the first move feels outdated in 2025.
As the emotional toll of online dating grows, some are turning to AI for support. One woman shared that she uses ChatGPT to analyze messages from potential matches, finding reassurance in the app’s objective perspective. Other apps, like Replika and Blush, offer AI companionship, sometimes even mimicking romantic relationships. While these tools may provide temporary relief from loneliness, they raise important questions about whether they address the root causes of dating dissatisfaction or merely mask them. The World Health Organization has warned that chronic loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, highlighting the urgency of finding meaningful human connections.
Despite these challenges, there are success stories that remind us of the potential of online dating. Alex and Molly, for example, met on Hinge and are now celebrating three years together, having even bought a flat as a couple. They credit online dating with bringing them together, noting that their paths might never have crossed otherwise. MILLY, the founder of a Singles’ Society group on Instagram, offers a different perspective, suggesting that the root of modern dating issues lies in people not knowing what they truly want. Meanwhile, Charlene Douglas advocates for more relationship education in schools, arguing that young people often lack the tools to navigate healthy partnerships. As dating apps continue to evolve and new platforms emerge, it’s clear that the future of love is still a work in progress—one that balances the convenience of technology with the timeless desire for genuine human connection.